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Beware of viagra alternative snake oil ads that are disguised as real news!

The Times-Union of Jacksonville, Florida, is taking the moral high ground by warning readers of the dangers of a certain Viagra alternative with a front page news story. However, hidden inside the newspaper is an quarter page ad for that same exact product.

An article by Wayne Ezell in the Opinion section of the same newspaper entitled “Beware of snake oil ads that are disguised as real news” brings the irony to light.

A front-page story on Nov. 13 revealed that some pills marketed as safe herbal alternatives to Viagra and other prescription sex medications can pose hidden dangers. Inside the paper that day was an advertisement for Vytalin, an herbal alternative to Viagra that apparently contains an ingredient that can lead to fatal outcomes for people with high blood pressure and heart problems. - Wayne Ezell, Times-Union Reader Advocate

Hmm, well we want unbiased news, right? So the journalists and the advertising departments should be allowed to operate separately, right?

Wait one second!

The newspaper, The Times-Union, has an obligation to not run advertising for products that are known to be dangerous to their readers.

Especially advertising of “natural cures” of medical diseases that do not state ingredients in the ad.

Especially advertising for “natural cures” that do not state the price in the ad.

Especially advertising that is designed to look like a news story.

The journalist, and/or his editor, should have checked with their own advertising department. Probably could have done that with a few clicks on their computer.

That’s my opinion.

Happy New Year!

It sounds unbeleivable, but it’s true. Some oyster farmers in Australia are enhancing their oyster crop by adding Pfizer Viagra to their oyster tanks and they have filed for a patent under the name ViagraOysters. We have not yet been able to determine if the horny oysters will be available in different strengths, like Oyster25, Oyster50, etc. In any case, rumor has it they intend marketing their little woodie oysters in the Asian market which is estimated to be worth about $220 million dollars.

Pfizer is not exactly “getting off” on this.

The farmer’s use of the Viagra trademark in their marketing has drawn the attention of pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, setting up a David and Goliath-style showdown.

More than likely, these oyster farmers were advised by someone savvy in the internet marketing world and especially the technique called linkbait to start with the Viagra name as a publicity stunt. We think one letter from Pfizer’s legal department will end the trademark infringement on that day.

In a somewhat related story, 25% of Italians surveyed said that they would prefer a zesty salami and cheese as their eatable aphrodisiac of choice.

Because they wish they were hung like a salami.

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Or just for the pure salami-pleasure.

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Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you, but online viagra purchases are big because many men are reluctant to go to their local pharmacy with the pimply-faced kids behind the counter snickering at the man’s purchase of a bottle of viagra. Online viagra purchasing is easy and confidential.

The purchase of online viagra will be a large contributing factor responsible for the soon-to-arrive economic boom. This economic boom will be huge and will affect everyone from Pampers and Huggies, to baby strollers, to college funding, city planners, and real estate developers; basically the entire economic system of America is in for a huge boom.

If you haven’t got the idea yet, let us go over a few statistics:

• One-third of the male population, (46,000,000), is in its procreative years, (horny as hell).
• Some reports conservatively estimate 5,000,000 prescriptions per month written for Viagra, (this does not include Cialis, Levitra, or any herbal alternative remedies).
• At six pills per month (regulated by insurance companies), that equals 30,000,000 procreative acts, (30,000,000 men getting laid per month!).
• The average chance of conception is about 25%.

Ummm, how many babies will that produce? Of course, when the woman conceives sexual intercourse will slow down for that couple, but nevertheless, with all the Pfizer advertising, thousands of men are joining the “Viva Viagra!” scene everyday, and many men have multiple female partners every weekend, so the impact could be about 7.5 million new babies PER YEAR! This is more than double the number of baby boomer births in the late 1940s, after WWII.

Most interesting is that these babies will be a “marked” generation, in that, they would not have been born if not for the artificially created increase in procreative activity from the use of pharmaceuticals.

Will these kids be called The Viagra Generation or The Kemical Kids?