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This post is actually a followup on my post Are You A Cucumber Or A Banana In Bed?, in which I mentioned that Singapore’s Society for Men’s Health is proposing a four-point scale for erectile dysfunction, allowing men to rate their own hardness with four categories. They got the four-point scale from none other than Pfizer Malaysia.

Pfizer’s four-point scale is known as Erectile Hardness Score (EHS) and is ascertained by using the Erectile Hardness Meter, (there’s two more cool Viagra keywords for your lists).

KUALA LUMPUR,23 aPRIL 2007 – Pfizer Malaysia today unveiled a new diagnostic tool which enables men to take more control of their erectile dysfunction (ED) management and its subsequent improvement. This new tool is based on a 4-point scale which identifies Grade 4 erections as the optimal treatment goal for men with ED - Pfizer Press Release

When I first heard of Pfizer’s Erection Hardness Meter, I started looking around the internet for a device or diagnostic kit, but I have not been able to locate it yet.

A Google image search for “erection hardness meter” (with quotes) returns only six images. One from www.pharmamarketingblog.com, one from www.pharmamarketingblog.com, and four from www.pharma-mkting.com , but none of them helped me find Pfizer’s Erection Hardness Meter.

I am beginning to think maybe the whole Erection Hardness Meter and the Erection Hardness Score is just a hoax by Pfizer, what we would call linkbait or “creating a buzz”. If so, it’s working.

I did find these grades which I presume would be the result of using Pfizer’s Erection Hardness Meter.

1. Grade 1 - Penis is larger but not hard
2. Grade 2 - Penis is hard, but not hard enough for penetration
3. Grade 3 - Penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard
4. Grade 4 - Penis is completely hard and fully rigid

1. Grade 1 - Severe ED
2. Grade 2 - Moderate ED
3. Grade 3 - Mild ED
4. Grade 4 - No ED

“The EHS provides a quantitative measure of the degree of erection hardness and therefore treatment efficacy in patients with erectile dysfunction,” Pfizer said.

I’m not done researching Pfizer’s Erection Hardness Meter yet. I have created a Google comprehensive, as-it-happens, “erection hardness meter” alert.

I am also in the beta stage of designing a Syndk8.net Erection Hardness Meter. This would be an Erection Hardness Meter that any man could make at home with typical household items. So far what I have in mind is a tube about 5 inches long. You could use one of those cardboard tubes that toilet tissue comes on. Then you fill the tube with whipped potato. The consistency of the whipped potato is very important and we will post the exact recipe later. Lastly you push your penis into the tube and measure the amount of whipped potato that your penis pushes out the other end. The harder your erection, the more whipped potato you will push out. To make this testing more fun, your girlfriend, (or if you’re a peter-puffer, your boytoy), could eat the whipped potato as it drops out of the end of the tube, (gravy comes later, if you get my drift).

If you know where I can find out more about Pfizer’s Erection Hardness meter, like see a picture of it, buy it, get instructions for it’s use, etc, please let me know.

Bompa